And what im i doing at this hour?
yea, i cant slp.
i miss dear dear so much.
how i wish he was by side.
tears filled my eyes.
every tear drop, is how i miss him.
i wish that he was by my side, caring for me, talking to me, playing with him,
make me smile.
i just watched a series of episodes.
romantic and touching.
but, i wasnt actually watching.
my mind was full of him.
one by one, images of him just flipped through my mind.
i really have fallen for him le.
even i, myslef, cant control, the love i have for him.
i really need him by my side,
hugging me, kissing my lips.
i just miss this type of feeling.
i miss him comforting me when im afraid,
i miss him talking to me. about how he feels.
i really miss him.
now, i can only hear, a voice which sounds tired at the end of the day.
saying, i love you, i miss you, and a short short sweet words from him and thats all.
all i can do is to only blame myslef.
for not treasuring the moments with him.
i hate myslef.
i dont know how to overcome myself.
God please help me.

My feelings,
Wednesday,29 oct.

hmms. this few days super happy with dear.
although is a damn short period of time but,
im still happy.
i stayed with dear everyday 24 hrs from the day he booked out till booked in.
miss those times.
haiz.
how he go in again. i miss him super lots.
so sians
without him really very xin ku.
i really fall for him le.
cant stop loving him..
haiz i miss the moments we were together.
i see the bed he laid on when he was in my house,
i can picture the scenerio. where we lay together slping.
haiz. i really miss him alot.
super lots.
dear i miss u..
i wont let u go de
i promise.

today had i great time with xuele, lihong and stella.

Ever since that day, I've become more and more emotional and quiet.
well, the only time i make noise is, when I'm in sch.
and recently, i told Paul that i dint sleep well these few days for some problems.
and he went to search what sleep deprivation can cause some serious side effects.
and he also encourage me to slp well. thanks Paul. thank God for giving me such a good friend.
well, i don't want to talk much bout him cos i don't want any misunderstood to take place, as it has happen once. just take this good chance to thank him on my blog.
yeah. so recently been praying before i sleep. and yarh i did catch some slp and feel so much better. but still have some headaches. i can sense God telling me to Love my enemies.
well, trying though. still praying for His guidance. im actually happy to see her trust in the Lord.
some how, im happy. because, i've been wanting to talk to her about it. but just always think that i have no rights to do that. But since she have found the right way back, im happy to see her back on track. well, i do not hate her. just dislike her. but........ yesterday i read the Bible and there is this verse saying in Matthew 7:3, Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your Brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
and so on. this verse woke me up. and i sure its what God want to me to know.
just want to say, if its God will that you two belong to each other, i will definitely give you two my blessing.but God already planned everyone's life. so, now that his with me, i sure that there is a purpose for it. so just live life. everybody wants a simple life. but there is no perfect simple.
this world is so complicated, and its growing rapidly towards darkness. so its just best to cling on God's great love. and since God had plans for you, He will give you whats suitable for you. and u can just see Him work. cos, with human efforts, its impossible. but with God, everything is impossible.

My Speech,
Friday, 17/10/08

i just feel that i must really find out some truth.
truth that will let me feel better and for you.
and i will definitely make that decision.
sometimes, i really think very hard, that are u lying to me all this while?
well, but i really trust u that u wont do that to me.
i really love you and i really hope u aint lying to me.
and i really hope u can love me and trust me the way i do.
i really need God now.
but it seems that he is not helping me.
i dont know.
i feel lonely.
but i trust God that Hes always with me.
and i really believe His promises to me.

The words of mine,
Tuesday, Oct 14 08

haiz.dear....i miss u alot sia.
i very heartpain to hear u so tired everyday.
i also dont know what to post.
i wanna cry everytime i post.
coz i really miss u alot.
and i really cannot get use to it living myslef without you.
anyway, i just came back and saw u in the sky.
tears filled my eyes that moment.
and i know ure always there.
just one week and a half u will be back.
and i cannot take already.
i feel like swimming over to find you.
but of course cannot larh.
im so sian without you..
just pray that God will bless you.
have a good night.
(:

Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
Ive never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams
I dont know how you do what you do
Im so in love with youIt just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby Im amazed by you
The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh it feels like the first time every time
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes
I dont know how you do what you do
Im so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby Im amazed by you
Every little thing that you do
Im so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Oh, every little thing that you do
Baby Im amazed by you.
-amazed-lonestar


hmms. yesterday, i went out with Paul.
went to meet him at Bugis then we headed to eat..
we walked and saw crystal jade, la mian and xiao long pao.
then he asked me whether got eat before xiao long pao.
then i said no. i grow so big, i nvr eat before.
then he said. okay, lets go in.
then we ate.. it was 9ice..
then he said he wanted to go find blazer for his friend's wedding.
then we go to domanchi.
too bad dont have his size.
then we took 67 back to timah.
we went to Mumbo to play pool.
untill Hubby called i also dont know.
Sorry dear.
but i had fun larh. hehe.
keep hitting the white ball into the hole.
super noob larh..
haiz. i miss deardear alot..
i wonder how is he doing..
haiz..
yarh. then today went shopping with Mum.
bought some clothes from Cotton on,
went to faceshop buy mask.
then go Crumpler go buy my bag.
yaps. then walk around.
then finally went home..
haiz.
i very bored and i miss dear alot alot.
):

haiz..
1 day past le..
im so bored without you..
my days and nights are quiet without ur presence.
i've become back to my old self.
the quiet and emo girl.
seldom like to talk, go out..
always by my self..
of course the difference between my old self and now is,
last time i dont have Jesus. but now i have..
so Jesus is always by my side.
of course friends, they have their own bfs.
so, i've become lonely le..
plus plus dear dear in army le...
i got nothing to do le..
haiz...
dear dear coming out on 24 le..
jiayou dear..im always there for you.
see u soon dear..
love u HUBBY.
(:

well, today is quite sad.
Hubby going to ns le.
sadded. haiz. this few weeks i must zi ji du guo.
friends all have bf ler. well, i guess they dont have time for this silly girl ba.
everyday wake up, go sch, come back, slp, eat, blog, slp.
everyday routine. unless, i have activities.
think im gonna spent more time with papa and mama...
cos i feel that i have neglected them.
my dream is that me and Hubby can pei them more.
i wanna do alot of things with Hubby.
ALOT ALOT ALOT.
hais.. well, have to wait bah, for that to happen.
hmm.. 9/10/08
today will be a great day for me i guess.
but it will also be a lonely night for me.
Hubby take care, i will always support you.
i will take care of myslef too de..
(:

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i'm Belinda
Sixteen
BukitBatoksecondaryschool
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